You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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