omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
