you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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