How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
