i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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