and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if only i could text you this smell
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
