Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
