it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
