I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
