i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
