we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
