Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
my liver is dry heaving
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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