Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
