our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
