I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
