so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is Oprah even human
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
