i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
God, I missed his penis.
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