How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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