It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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