The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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