I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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