This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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