Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my liver is dry heaving
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
