When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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