when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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