Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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