Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
