Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
