if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My vagina is officially offended.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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