did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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