4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
