Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
