SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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