my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
