Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
