im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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