Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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