Please, let me fuck your mom
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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