are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
