so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
