I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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