I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Congratulations! We have a period
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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