she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
