Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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