TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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