Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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