About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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