Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
