I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't want my vagina anymore.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
