i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
