i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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